Like the Graceful Dolphin, I shall Dive into the Chaotic Oceans!

I'm so tired...

Everyones finally feeling better. We took Emania to the lab for her bloodwork...I was so proud of her... she didn't cry...she sat still... she's such a good girl.

Nate had to work Saturday night so we only had one night together... that sucked ass...but...its more money. He's got a funky schedule coming up for Thanksgiving. Wednesday night he goes in at 6pm... and works until midnight ( Unless the butt monkeys decide to pull what they did last year and keep em there until 4 am... ). Then... Bright and early Friday morning...they work 4am to 9am... then go back in Friday night as regularly scheduled ( 10pm - 7am ). Nice huh? But...its money... plus they get 8 hours holiday pay on Thursday. Gods know we could use as much extra cash as possible.

I'm really worried I'm not going to get my birthday present. All I wanted for my birthday was to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. My parents were supposed to take Emania overnight for us last weekend... but...they had to bowl. So, I asked my mom about taking her this weekend, and she said yeah. She wanted to take her Thursday night ( Thanksgiving ) but she has to work on Friday. So I asked my dad about it today at the hospital, but mom never said anything to him...which usually means she's not going to. Dad says she's really tired...another sign she won't. Not to mention my mom quit smoking today... so thats strike 3. So I'm a lil down and praying to the Gods they still take her for the night on Saturday. I know I sound VERY selfish and ungrateful...but everyone promised me I'd get to see that movie, and promised me I'd get a break. I'm VERY high strung right now...and ready to cry. Emania has been whining NONSTOP every 30 SECONDS for 3 WEEKS. I know its because she was sick, and the last couple weeks have been crazy... but mommy is in need of a SERIOUS break. The last semi break I had was October 15th... for about 8 hours... running a Midland event. But even then...I was tired, cold, and had the migraine from hell. Then I come home...my parents drop off Emania...and she screams at me for 2 hours because she wanted to spend the night at grammy's house. I know all the moms or dads out there that are with their kids alot know what its like... everything is your fault. Its my fault daddy works nights and sleeps all the time, its my fault she can't spend more time with grammy and grandpa, its my fault she got sick, its my fault she didn't get to go to school, I'm not doing a good enough job taking care of her ( Thats how my mom makes me feel ), its my fault Emania can't have a cookie, or pop, or go to the park and play when its 22 degrees outside, and of course, its my fault the snow melted. I know some of you are laughing... but thats been my dad, over and over, for 3 weeks. I'm made to feel like I shouldn't be tired because I'm home all day, and can sleep at night, and don't have to put up with people at " work ". Well ya know what...you deal with a 4 year old 24 fucking 7, have reoccuring nightmares, be woken up at 5 am for no reason at all, and not be able to take a nap because some stuff you have to do while that 4 year old is sleeping. You try taking pride in having a clean house that you busted your ass cleaning all goddamn day, only to watch your husband, daughter, and other people come through and destroy it in 5 minutes flat. Try sitting down at night to relax only to have your cat jump up and start buggin the hell out of you for an hour because now HE wants attention. I am so mentally exhausted right now... I couldn't hit anything if I wanted to. Granted, I could probably glare anyone into submission atm...but damn...lol...MOMMY NEEDS A MOTHERFUCKING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gods I hope I get one this weekend....

Oh... and to the cunt that pushed my daughter around because her snobby rich bitch ass was in a hurry in DOLLAR GENERAL to get back to her precious PT fucking cruiser... I hope Santa brings you a lump of coal the size of that great shithole NYC. How anyone could possibly think that giving gifts to poor children who have NOTHING isn't important is beyond me. This woman claimed that the Marine's have better things to do like fighting wars on terror, rather than " Toys for Tots ", a program set up BY the USMC to give toys to children across America on Christmas morning. I agree with fighting terror...but I also believe that we have a MAJOR war on our hands in America, its called proverty. GODS FORBID if the US Marines do something for their countries CHILDREN. Ya know, everyones so busy putting down the USMC, calling them warmongers and baby killers, and all that other BS... they convient;y leave out all the things they do on a regular basis, like HELP people, save lives, give a few kids a new toy on christmas, and MAYBE, just MAYBE... rescue some innocent people in a country racked with some seriously disturbed individuals. Gods, I hope somehow, someway, that woman learns the true meaning of the holidays, and I hope someday she has to depend on a Marine... some people never learn...

OH...and one last thing that really upset me... Coca Cola will no longer be using Santa Claus. Our beloved secular authorities who are anti religion, have forced Coke to drop Santa because it is a christian symbol. Therefor, Santa's face OBVIOUSLY offends EVERYBODY else. I am SO disgusted with this bullshit. I'm a pagan and I CELEBRATE Santa Claus, and Christmas, and Rudolph the Fruity Reindeer... I mean COME ON. Can we grow up just a LITTLE BIT? I'm ready to boycott Coca Cola as a statement to bring my Santa back!!! Thats just like Wal-Mart and other stores across the country are no longer saying " Merry Christmas " or putting up any signs... otherwise a few people might get " upset ". Know whats next? They're going to ban the " Happy Holidays " and ALL the decorations around town because MAYBE not everyone celebrates the holidays. Maybe some 44 year old athiest wacking off to VH1 pictures of Paris Hilton will get offended if he sees a christmas tree. To ALL you motherfuckers out there who are anti holidays, anti christian / christmas, FUCK YOU!!!! My happy pagan ass WILL be fighting for Christmas to fight you worthless pieces of DNA scumsucking buttmonkey asses!!! Its no wonder Santa didn't bring you a pony...he was probably afraid you'd perform beastiality!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

That is all.