Like the Graceful Dolphin, I shall Dive into the Chaotic Oceans!

Ok...I deleted my last post. I was very angry, and I said alot of things I didn't mean. However, I did mean every fucking word to all you dieties in the universe. Suck my left butt cheek.

Had a good talk with Nate this morning. Got alot of stuff off of our chests. I think in 3 hours we managed to move forward, instead remaining stagnant like we have for the last 3 years. I want to thank Kym, Colleen, Jackie, and Dave for being there for me over the last month. I do appreciate you guys listening to me vent, and if it wasn't for you...I'd have probably killed someone by now. I love you guys.

I'm cleaning my house today...something I haven't done in 3 weeks. Yes, you read it right...3 weeks. However, after getting down on all fours to pick up small boxes under my table...I felt a nasty pain in my lower abdomen. Yep, one of those nasty razor sharp pains that makes you think of knives. It was right near my cervix. I hope thats a sign my period is about to start. On top of that, my stomach hurts...BAD. I think I've got eith some nasty indegestion or one hell of an ulcer. I've been dealing with it for 3 days, so it should feel free to go away at anytime...lol. Needless to say I'm sitting here with my favorite cereal ( Kellog's Special K Red Berries ) doused in milk. Hopfully that helps.

Tommarro I can finally get ALL the laundry done. Dads takin me first thing in the morning to the laundry mat. Then, I'll come home...take a shower, and get ready for Aunt Annie's party. I cannot WAIT to get drunk. I know I probably shouldn't be drinking with my mental contion of late...but fuck it. I need a fucking drink. It'll just suck if I actually DO get my period by then, because that means no freaky sex for Nate...LOL.

Shit...I have so much more to do...and so little time...BLEAH. I still have to dust, clean the windows, clean the bathroom ( Insert tortured screams ), clean Emania's room ( Insert louder tortured screams ), clean the ferrets cage ( Scream with me baby ), and vaccuum. I have decided to NOT clean my bedroom until after Emania's in bed. This way I can sort laundry, get everything out the cleaning freaks way, and then clean clean. I wanna dust my dresser too. I think it needs it. So, who wants to help me? Hello? Anybody out there? NATHAN!!! I know you're reading this!!! Damnit Dave... if you don't help me, I'm gonna make your " snip snip " look like more like nail cutting compared to what I'll do to you!!! And you know I'll have G's permission...Buawahahahahahahahaha!

Oh... Christmas Shopping in Sunday...I can't fucking wait. Which brings me to my last thing...

The next motherfucker who says Bah Humbug, Fuck Christmas, Santa Sucks, ect... I assure you, I will hunt you down, shove my fist into your mouth, reach down your throat and into your chest, and rip your cold, dead, greedy, self pitying, whiney, unhappy, un spirited, pathetic, WEAK heart out. I will then sautee it in a pan with red wine, take a nice big bite, chuck the rest out my kitchen window where it will land on the garage roof next door, to rot in the sun after lying frozen in snow all winter. Do the world a favor - SHUT THE FUCK UP. Why don't you talk to some of the kids in the gulf coast about what it means to be alive at christmas? Better yet, buy em a toy. Maybe then some ounce of maturity and love will pierce that pathetic black mass you call a heart.

Have a VERY Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

P.S. Remember boys and girls... it is better to spend the holidays with your kids, not your lover.